John's birth part 2

Operating room: I don't know where to start. So much was happening at once. It was about 11 am when we were in the operating room and getting started. They had to adjust my medication, to go from an epidural to a full spinal block, once the medication took effect I flipped out. I had no control of myself. I couldn't hardly even turn my head. My husband, John, was amazing. He helped calm me down and refocus on what was important, getting our little boy here and him being healthy. I started to hemorrhage when they began the procedure, so needed medication to try and help slow the bleeding. My body reacted negatively to the first medication tried, and I got extremely high blood pressure. They also put an oxygen mask on me, remind you I am still puking, and can't hardly move my arms, so John and the anesthesiologist is having to remove the mask every time I need to puke. I was also going in and out of conciseness at this point and don't remember him begin born, I felt some pressure, and knew that things were not right with JC, but didn't realize how bad everything actually was.
As soon as JC was born he was taken by the respiratory team. He was born with a heartbeat of 60 bpm and not breathing. The respiratory specialist began compressions and oxygen, after what seemed like a lifetime he started crying, it was such a relief to hear him. I told my husband to join him, and they took the two of them out of the room. I never got to see him.
After JC was born I was put under general anesthesia so the doctors could work on controlling the hemorrhage. I was in surgery for about 2 hours before everything got under control. The general surgeon was called in to perform a hysterectomy, and when he came into the room my uterus "firmed up". I finally got to see my little man when in recovery, but they kept trying to hand him to me, and I was terrified of falling back to sleep and really didn't want to hold or nurse him. Later that day I did nurse him, (which was issues all in itself. I'll right a blog just for that.)
Sometime after the surgery my doctor told me that she had to cut the scar downwards to get JC out, therefor making a vbac attempt not possible. I was so swollen from all the pitocin given to stop the hemorrhage that I couldn't walk for two days, finally four days after he was born we were released from the hospital, and our journey as parents began.